There's a Bowling Alley in Port Authority?
Who knew?
Anyway, the place made for one very happening birthday shindig. Check out the pictures here. As near as I can tell, a great time was had by all, and it was quite a turnout!
It was a night of oddities, that's for sure. We ended up next to the least likely crew of people to ever call themselves a league bowling team. It was watching the cast of "Mystery Men" go bowling. And man were they SERIOUS about it. So, in homage to the weird cohesion of their team, I give you detailed descriptions. And some names I just made up. Mind you, I don't think anyone on their team bowled less than a 180.
The Cast of characters:
Heavy MetalThis skinny kid with long, greasy-ish blonde hair looked like he should be wearing a Metallica shirt, or be home playing D&D. In any other city, the rest of the bowling alley would be giving him a hard time. Here, he was a bowling god.
TinyThis 400lb black man made you wonder how we was going to get up the speed to even make it to the line, but once he got moving, nothing was going to stop him. He did 6 quick little steps like Fred Flintstone, and then, ZOOM! The ball flew out of his hand and pounded the pins. I also don't think he said a word the whole night.
God Help My BallsThis guy was the worst of them all. He had some contraption on his chubby wrist that made him look like a bowling cyborg, and then used his Anakin Skywalker looking arm to make the cross and pray before every ball. He also was a total Nazi about anyone bowling near him, and would wave the thing around and be like, "whoa whoa whoa!" Even if you were just standing on the wood waiting for him to go.
Twinkle Toes (This was her actual nickname on the screen, and it fit.)The one lady of the group definitely could have kicked my ass by the looks of her. She's the type of person you would cast to play the role of "Gruff Alaskan bartender with a sensitive side" if that makes sense at all. She seemed a little out of place with the rest of the boys, but bowled a fair game with a very interesting style. Every time she let one go down the isle, she pretty much ice skated with her left foot down, and her right leg extended WAY out and up behind her, and her arm following through up into a weird arc. Ballerina bowling.
PrecisionThis guy should have been playing the pro circuit. At least he thinks so. He had the form of a pro, and bowled a 200+, but was also a Nazi about being near him when he was playing his precision game. I think this was the guy that made us move. Ahh well.
LiquidThis kid was the coolest of the bunch. He was tiny and unassuming, and you almost wondered how he was going to get the ball down the lane. When he moved, though, it was like watching Matrix bullet-time live. He wound up in one perfectly fluid motion and his whole body kind of followed the ball around, giving it this perfectly languid, spinning arc down the lane. He followed through with one or two perfectly smooth steps, and his ball curved and followed through to the strikezone. I don't know if I saw him really miss a single frame. He made the rest of the guys look like hulks hurling the ball with nothing but dumb power, while he finessed the pins down each time. Classy.
So that's it. It was pretty fun to be a people-watcher last night, even if they were a bit exclusive. In the end, it was awesome that we moved over a lane or two anyway, because the people there before were from a work party, and were just like "Hey we're leaving, take the leftovers" (which included 2 pitchers of beer and some munchies!)
The Photos
